Iron Man 2 Review

Jon Favreau's Iron Man was somewhat of a surprise hit. In a year where the entire universe and it's nan eagerly awaited The Dark Knight eventual arrival, it was pretty clear that anything other would pale in comparison in terms of story, direction, box office intake and the rest.

And yet when Iron Man hit screens in May 2008, an almost surprising amount of acclaim and satisfaction came soon after. The movie was easily the best adaptation of a Marvel superhero since the Sam Rami's first Spider-Man and had the movie not appeared in the midst's of Bat-Mania '08, it would have easily been the best superhero movie of 2008.

A sequel was inevitable and luckily for us, our main key players were returning. I mean, this is it right? This was going to be fantastic! Favreau had done the origin story in one highly entertaining swoop but now it's time to bring in new stuff with far more freedom.

Would he introduce the now legendary "Demon in a Bottle" storyline? It seemed all too perfect with how Robert Downey Jr (who if you've lived under a rock on Mars for the last two years plays Tony Stark aka Iron Man) had triumphed over his own demons before becoming a box office juggernaut.

Although Favreau had ruled out The Mandarin, there was plenty of other villains to make into household names. Would he build upon the Avengers initiative that was hinted at to patient viewers at the end credits of the first movie? Could Don Cheadle surpass Terrence Howard?

Well it's here and well, yes, to a certain extent, but in the worst possible way imaginable.

So the story, in short (and boy this is going to be fun) is set almost immediately after Stark's revelation to the media that he is Iron Man at the end of the first movie. The U.S. government in stereotypical fashion is full of slimey arseholes who want the Iron Man weapon for their own purposes before America's enemies develop their own Iron Men suits. Stark argues the world is safe because of his presence and that he doesn't need to.

With the aid of hacking skills the likes of which Hollywood hasn't seen since Independence Day, he reveals that America's government backed weapon's developer has been selling his own protype suits to above enemies and walks away, because, well, plot.

In Russia, Ivan Yanko (played by Mickey Rourke with a Russian accent) watches his father die and decides it's time to take revenge on Stark. In short, Yanko's father half created the first arc reactor but was deported by Tony's dad and thus wasn't rich and famous. So Yanko using his own intelligence creates a weapon from the same technology and heads to America to kill Stark.

Stark leads a playboy lifestyle as usual, gets a new assistant in the shape of Scarlet Johansson, discovers his own artificial heart is slowly poisoning him and, yeah, I'll leave it as that. Things happen, things have to change, character's develop, but I'll leave you to find out who, what and why.

So first things first, no the story isn't "Demon in a Bottle". Yes we briefly see Stark drunk and destructive, but there's no major character arc revolving around it. Instead this, along with several other smaller plot points are just crumbs to the main underlining threat of the movie and that is: Who will get a military contract?

You know guys, this didn't work in Lord of War and that was a movie that centred on Arms Dealers, why on earth would it work in a Superhero movie?

So yeah, Iron Man 2's main villain (to a certain extent) is Tony Stark's rival Justin Hammer, who if he hadn't been played by the ever brilliant Sam Rockwell, this movie would have been far, far worse.

Hammer is ruthless as he is pathetic; he's the PC to Stark's Apple. Thankfully Rockwell is given more than enough time for the audience to become adjusted to his bad jokes, awkward demeanour and two-faced tactics.

The same can't be said for Mickey Rourke's Ivan Yanko/Whiplash who is in the film for about twenty minutes, which is ridiculous when he's the supposed major threat to our hero. Although you'd think Whiplash should give Iron Man a right good beating, he ends up first defeated by Jon Favearu's driving and later in the inevitable conclusion in about two minutes.

It's a shame as I liked Rourke here. He's a calculating madman who doesn't want money but simply to make Stark pay in blood (as chillingly referenced in his eventual interrogation). If anything, we should support him as he's the character who has lost everything to Stark's rich empire but by the end, he plays second fiddle to Hammer's plans to get a military contract and it's just one of the many disappointments the film presents.

Iron Man 2 must be the only superhero movie on earth where's there's too much plot but nothing to show for it. It's like what would happen if Superman Returns' sleep-inducing boringness collided with Spider-Man 3's bloatedness which then finally smashed into Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer absolute direness.

...ness.

I was watching it knowing things were happening but I honestly couldn't care less. The film's main threat is who gets more money from selling weapons? I mean, you have a bloodthirsty Russian terrorist who wants to kill Stark for the sins of his father, you have Stark dying from his artificial heart which brings about the birth of War Machine and the temporary fall of Stark and you have Nick Fury talking about eating "doughnuts" and "Avengers" or something (on a side note; Jackson man, what happened? I know your Sixty-one but Jesus, did Nick Fury declare war on diets or something?).

And these play in the background and have nothing to show for it. I know the last movie's main flaw was the lack of a decent major villain, but Stark's journey as Iron Man and Downey Jr's electric performance as said character was more than enough to make up for it. He was complex and at times borderline insane but intensely likable. Here he is simply a text book megalomaniac with very little redeeming qualities other than being friendly to some and annoying to many. Even his free-flowing almost human-like dialogue with Pepper Potts (played by Gwyneth Paltrow) doesn't help matters and when his eventual fall comes, I was hoping he'd change but in the end, it's the same old Tony, just with less chance of dying.

This film is awful. The main plot is an absolute joke, an overbloated, stupidly long and mind numbingly awful joke. I know people complain how Superhero movies can be stupid for the sake of action but it's like the complete opposite here. You get over two hours of build up and a trailer's worth of action to show for it.

Even when the action comes it's third rate. CGI men in robot suits fight against CGI robot drones is your main event of the evening. It's like a kid cartoon with the violence watered-down and even Whiplash battling Iron Man is so short you barely have enough time to contemplate the consequenes of the outcome and when the rematch eventually rolls in at the end, it's over even faster.

As for War Machine. Well, he's ok and full credit to Cheadle for having to deal with what he had because he was good but he should have had more of the plot. Like everything in the movie, he has an running plot with Tony which is given up in the end to simply have our trailer clip of the two fighting together against drones and considering how much plot the movie tries to devour, his ongoing rivalry with Stark and eventual team up is just so ham-handed that it should have just been cut or rewritten altogether.

But yeah, this is getting long so I'm gonna wrap this up. Iron Man 2 is an atrocious sequel to a fantastic first film. The movie's main plot is padded out with far too many other plots to make up for it, the action is minimal and not satisfactory in the slightest and by the end, you feel like something has happened but nothing has happened (if that makes any sense).

I hope that the third movie will take a step in the right direction by at the very least, make something engaging and entertaining. I mean, the first film got away with adding an antagonist at the end because of making the origin and rise of Iron Man so great but now is the time to test our character's will and determination with a major threat.

It's just a shame it may take until the third film to do this when it should have been covered here and now. Still, live in hope guys, maybe Thor and Captain America will make up for it?

3/10

H