Worst to Best Morrissey Albums (...Including Bona Drag)

Despite eating meat, my hatred for PETA, my generally cheery demeanour; I am a massive fan of The Smiths and a massive fan of Morrissey's solo career.

Yes; pop's most outspoken miserabilist is on the comeback, five years too long since his last album and going by what's been released thus far; World Peace is None of Your Business could potentially be one of the more surprising contenders for album of the year.

But with over a quarter-century under his belt; where does someone place Morrissey's solo album discography in an easy to digest list? Why NME of course! But alternatively; here is my recollection of thoughts, memories and of course; which version of the album to buy should you feel inclined to expand your record collection (insert ironic Paint a Vulgar Picture joke here).

...and for those looking at the title of this article and  frothing at the mouth at adding this compilation and not Swords or the various others. Three reasons:

1) It was originally going to be Morrissey's second album

2) Unlike Swords, it featured stand alone singles and wasn't strictly a B-Sides compilation

3) I can then milk the list into a top ten

...moving on

2015 EDIT: Out of fairness (and boredom), I've included World Peace Is None of Your Business which only had...a third of the album unveiled at the time of writing. I've also kept Bona Drag because...spoiler alert...it's Bona Drag and it deserves to be on here.

11) Maladjusted

There are albums which are commercial failures, there are albums that are critical failures, they are albums that are both, there are albums that are reflected upon negatively and those that can destroy bands.

Whilst the latter is certainly not true, the former points can and do perfectly encompass Maladjusted.

Unlike (spoiler alert) my next entry which arguably started Morrissey's downward curve, Maladjusted is a incredibly long, dragged out affair of either boring songs that sound almost lifeless or songs that sound like parodies.

Even the tantalising look at his opinion of the now infamous Smith royalty court case is a Punch and Judy affair, combining a midi remix of A Clockwork Orange's opening sequence with Morrissey promising retribution to the judicial system in deadpan that would make Bill Murray recoil.

It has it's moments (the superb Alma Matters, Satan Rejected My Soul and I must be the only person who likes Roy's Keen despite it being the main case for aforementioned parodies) but it's a mostly boring affair with far better b-sides.

Buy: Maladjusted [2009 Remaster]

Whilst the running time is bumped up to over an hour; the reissue of Maladjusted features the many b-sides that easily surpassed many of the tracks originally included. You tragically lose Roy's Keen and Papa Jack and the extra running time makes the album even more of a difficult listen to, but for individual tracks, it's the far more logical choice.

Plus it has a far better album cover. Don't believe me?

You do now.

10) Southpaw Grammar

One of the main critiques of the entirety of Morrissey's solo career is the lack of branching out or change. So much so that it's often cited as one of the reason's of why The Smiths ended.

On the plus side; that argument is shut down with 1995's Southpaw Grammar which saw Morrissey delve into the untrod realms of Progressive Rock, going as far to include two songs which go over ten minutes and another which included a near two and a half minute drum solo intro.

On the downside; it didn't exactly work.

Released in the midst of Morrissey's hard on for British gangsters, boxers and the glamour of crime; Southpaw Grammar sees a Morrissey album with no ballads, a tempo that only occasionally catches breath and sweet Xenu it is long. 

Much like Maladjusted, Southpaw Grammar is another record which never seems to finish and lacks the polish of his much better earlier and later albums. Surprisingly; singles Boxers and Sunny are not included here or the 2009 re-release (despite both being pretty good).

A decent record in short bursts with some good stand-alone tracks (The Boy Racer, Do Your Best and Don't Worry) but in need of some trimming.

Buy: Southpaw Grammar [2009 Expanded Edition]

Much like Maladjusted; the re-release comes with additional tracks which makes the run time go from long to unbearably long. On the plus side; you get three unreleased tracks (although one of which was a hangover from sessions from two albums previous) and the fantastic b-side Nobody Loves Us thus making individual track listenings more worthwhile.

Unlike Maladjusted, you don't lose anything in exchange for the new but, maybe as a nod; you also get a brand spanking new and far superior album cover.

Still don't believe me?

You do now.

09) Kill Uncle

Unlike Viva Hate and his previous singles which were such an easy transition from The Smiths that they almost could have been follow up's to Strangeways, Here We Come, Kill Uncle is what happens when lamentive pop star colides into Madness at high speed. 

Jangly piano chords everywhere, songs which are poor compared to the multitude of releases before and an almost disinterested Morrissey with far weaker lyrics than usual.

It is however; a far easier listen to than Maladjusted and Southpaw Grammar and does have some pretty good tracks throughout. Whether opener Our Frank, the acclaimed Sing Your Life, the racing Mute Witness or the slow and sombre There's a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends, Kill Uncle can often be labelled Morrissey's worst album.

In my opinion; it's biggest problem is the pairing of the music and Morrissey's lyrics. It works with the shorter tracks but outstays it's welcome on the longer ones.

Buy: Kill Uncle [Expanded Edition]

The original Kill Uncle is poorly mixed and far too quiet. The recent reissue gives the music a much needed push and again, includes more of the b-sides which shouldn't have been relegated as such.

On the downside; that slow and sombre There's a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends? Gone. Replaced with a live-in-studio performance (previously a b-side) which turns the track into two minute filler and takes away the beautiful send off of the original album.

Cover wise...whilst more colourful, there's something about disinterested Morrissey posing with an overcast sky that works so much better.

Don't agree with me?

You may now.

08) Your Arsenal

So let it be known; the article is now reaching the point where albums range from good to outstanding.

Morrissey's first album with the band he would stick with for far longer than The Smiths; Your Arsenal is a rapid departure from Kill Uncle and a welcome return to rock. Far, far more than Viva Hate or any Smiths album however.

Whether it's the blitzing opener You're Gonna Need Someone on Your Side, the lovable throwback to tongue-firmly-in-cheek jangle-pop You're the One for Me, Fatty, the fantastic finalé Tomorrow.

And of course; The National Front Disco; the song that single handily made the press point the finger at accusations of racism despite the lyrics treating the subject matter of David and his literal National Front Disco with disdain and an element of tragedy.

Your Arsenal was a welcome bounce back from Kill Uncle and is easily one of Morrissey's most popular albums. Whilst no where near the best; for a straight up rock album, it still holds up and is one of the more accessible albums for those coming straight from The Smiths.

Buy: Your Arsenal [2014 Definitive Remaster]

Much like Kill Uncle; Your Arsenal was a victim of it's time with a low mix making the music lose much of it's punch, the recent reissue however; is thankfully louder with more depth giving the album a much needed boost.

You lose nothing nor gain nothing in terms of additional studio tracks and the album artwork is exactly the same minus the typefont on "Your Arsenal" but, you get a live show and some extra pictures if staring into the void is your thing.

If you haven't done so already, the remaster is easily the album of choice.

07) Years of Refusal

Morrissey's then final studio output continues with themes and sounds similar to predeceasing album and later entry on this list Ringleader of the Tormentors but shortens the tracks to bursts rather than epic trudges and drops the lyrical fixation of Rome for more reflection on past lives.

For I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris; the flamenco inspired When I Last Spoke to Carol or the western-themed Black Cloud, it works a treat. Even the longer tracks, ranging from the dangerous and loud I'm Ok by Myself or the slow and stripped You Were Good in Your Time never outstay their welcome.

In the trilogy of album's released since his hiatus; Years of Refusal, whilst the weakest (more so for familiarity than anything), it's still an easy to absorb album with some true gems within.

Buy: Years of Refusal

Your eyes are not deceiving you; Years of Refusal stands as one of only two Morrissey albums not to see a re-release. For now anyway...

06) World Peace Is None of Your Business

Morrissey's second comeback of the 21st century was a much hyped affair with a lot of promise. Three of the four singles released were strong and the odd one Earth is the Loneliest Planet was a bit too generic and nowhere near as memorable.

Like my (cheap plug here) review back in 2014, I'm still thrown off by how weak the lyrics are on the album. Musically, it's full of reinvention and new styles, but the lyrics aren't up to par with his previous material, often repeating phrases and not advancing the stories we've come to love. 

Add in the album's ongoing issues with overindulgence with the seven minute long I'm Not a Man being the prime example. Needlessly double the length of the good song it could have been, it sits firmly within the first third and causes a pause that the album doesn't fully turn around from.

However, it's the music and the flashes of lyrical brilliance which save the album. While not as impressive as the next entry in terms of comebacks, it serves as another reminder of Morrissey's enduring legacy and a hopeful taster of future releases.

Buy: World Peace Is None of Your Business [Deluxe Edition]

The deluxe version of the album is one of the best justifications of releasing a deluxe version of any album. The six could have radically changed the theme of the standard version and possibly improved it but they don't fit with the ongoing theme of the album. Whilst I really love One of Our Own and Art-hounds, they'll remain superb b-sides and considering his back catalogue, that's quite an achievement.

It's also worth noting that the album was discontinued three weeks after it's release for various reasons, making this Morrissey's latest and potentially rarest album. Best start pestering your local record shop...or eBay.

05) You Are the Quarry

Ah yes; the comeback album. His magnificent return, where the old dog doesn't learn new tricks but re-tweaks the old favourites as a reminder of why we followed him like the Pied Piper in the first place.

The single heavy You Are the Quarry is easily Morrissey's most accessible and stereotypical album. It has First of the Gang to Die, probably Morrissey's most famous solo song, the anti-monarchy anthem Irish Blood, English Heart; the odé to lesbian muscle beach affairs All the Lazy Dykes and the audaciously titled I Have Forgiven Jesus among others.

There's a lot to love here and whilst it does loses it's punch after multiple listens; the accessibility of the record makes it an easy listen and one that, if your unsure about taking the plunge, it's this and entry number three that can be your gateway.

Buy: You Are the Quarry [Deluxe Edition]

A re-release in the same year with bonus tracks might seem a tad stereotypical these days, but young Morrissey was setting that trend back in the dizzy days of 2004!

You get the album and al...most of the b-sides of the period on a extra disc. Sure; their quality might vary from good to unceremonious grunt, but it's nine extra tracks, two of which gone from b-side compilation Swords and the completionist inside will feel much better for it.

At least that's what I tell myself.

04) Ringleader of the Tormentors

It was one thing for Morrissey to deliver a great album seven years in gestation, it was quite another for its sequel to not immediately slip back into bad habits, but instead deliver his best album of this century (thus far).

Ringleader of the Tormentors (which probably has the most brilliant yet stereotypically Morrissey-esq title possible) takes the single heavy approach of You Are the Quarry; throws it to the wayside and instead builds around epic album tracks with more than a fair nod to Morrissey's new fascination; Rome.

Whether it's the name checks in the surprisingly addictive You Have Killed Me, the tragic and beautiful Dear God, Please Help Me or the sinister The Youngest Was the Most Loved, starting with the familiar sirens of Italian emergency services and a children's choir on the catchy chorus.

But none of those compare to the simply stunning Life is a Pigsty; a seven minute epic so powerful, you can almost feel and taste the rain in the mix. Detractors may say it's a beginners version of Meat is Murder, but it's crashing drums, the simple but pleasant piano chords and the surprisingly hopeful lyrics towards the end make it a far better song.

It's only downside is its semi decent opener I Will See You in Far-Off Places and boring final track At Last I Am Born, serving as deceitful bookmarks to a truly superb album.

Buy: Ringleader of the Tormentors

Easy choice, this is the other Morrissey album not to see a re-release, although when it inevitably does, maybe he'll find a way to fit Ganglord on the track list.

The biggest crime being it's omission to begin with.

03) Viva Hate

Hot off the heels of the final Smiths album; Viva Hate's biggest compliment might be that, particular parts of it, are almost within touching distance of being that dream fifth Smiths album.

Maybe it's producer Stephen Street adding the final touches, maybe it's Suedehead serving as a suitable transitional piece for a post-Marr Morrissey or maybe that, lyrically, it's definitely the same Morrissey who who last told us he wouldn't share us.

But most surprising; it's the parts of Viva Hate that simply never would've existed in The Smiths canon that make it such a great record. Something like the quirky Bengali in Platforms, the blow-your-socks-off opener Alsatian Cousin, the high pitch squells of the guitar in I Don't Mind If You Forget Me, or the chilling ending to Margaret on the Guillotine, taking the controversy of The Queen is Dead and taking it to it's natural progression, something perhaps too mean for The Smiths collectively.

Morrissey's first effort beyond The Smiths is more than a transitional piece, it's more than a dogged attempt to recapture the magic of the old in a new world; it's a quintessential listen and a superb debut album following on from the end of one of music's most tragic collapses.

Buy: Viva Hate [EMI Centenary Edition]

This, was by far, the worst to pick one to buy.

Thus far; there have been three releases of Viva Hate. The latest, is probably the most erroneous in terms of changes in Morrissey's back catalogue and with good reason.

Not only is the perfectly acceptable The Ordinary Boys replaced with the unreleased, unfinished and unlovable Treat Me Like a Human Being, but the last minute of the majestic Late Night, Maudlin Street is trimmed for shit and giggles.

The 1997 re-release sees the original album intact, but adds an extra eight tracks, of which only one was even recorded at the same time as the album. Whilst they don't cause any problems, considering the amount of cut material still out there or released at a later date, it seems a tad lazy.

However, given the choice between the original 1987, now-vanilla release and the expanded, albeit nonsensical addition of tracks to the 1997 version, it does pip it, just.

Oh and there's the album cover, no need for a picture this time, it's just boring. Stick with the iconic original.

02) Bona Drag

The fact that Morrissey even managed to release a superb debut album only six months after the final Smiths album was one thing. It was quite another that for two and a half years, he managed to release iconic single after iconic single and then release them in a compilation that surpassed said superb debut album.

Bona Drag, despite beginning life as the sequel to Viva Hate, ended up becoming something that could easily be seen as a simple cash grab, a lot like later, more unfortunate releases like My Early Burglary Years or World of Morrissey.

But instead, Bona Drag has all the classics you either know and love, or will know and love, whether it's the bouncy, perhaps misguided love letter to east-end gangsters The Last of the Famous International Playboys, the greatest song about booking a haircut Hairdresser on Fire, the dreary yet laugh out loud funny Ouija Board, Ouija Board or the phenomenal November Spawned a Monster.

The biggest fault with Bona Drag is either your back in 1990 and had already bought the singles or that fact that Suedehead and Everyday is Like Sunday make a return from Viva Hate, reminding you that's it's not really an album.

Despite that, it's a superb follow-up to Viva Hate, showing just how much Morrissey had come from the end of The Smiths, and whilst only the final album on this list tops it, it's one of the best pretend second albums ever.

Buy: The HMV/Parlophone Singles '88-91

Ok, I know what you're thinking.

First you include a non-album in your top ten Morrissey albums to make up the numbers, but when said non-album reaches the number two slot, you tell me to buy a completely different compilation?!

Yes, dear reader and hear me out for logic's sake.

Bona Drag has had two releases thus far. The original and the "remastered" edition from 2012 which not only sees more additional, albeit poorer tracks (excluding Let the Right One Slip In, that's great), but more re-edits like the 2012 version of Viva Hate, except this time, it's all over the album.

Whether it's Ouija Board, Ouija Board losing nearly an entire minute, Suedehead having a clear-cut beginning or Piccadilly Palare gaining a verse for some reason, the re-release is jarring and loses a lot of it's impact, nostalgia or both.

The above compilation includes everything from Bona Drag in their original glory, albeit in order of chronological release rather than the tracklisting for Bona Drag, but heck, that's what iTunes' is for! Right?

You also get a few additional b-sides that should have been on Bona Drag like I Know Very Well How I Got My Name and Sister I'm a Poet and overall, much like a lot of Morrissey's releases, it makes a decent start towards collecting every single track.

01) Vauxhall and I

The difficulty in placing which Smiths album as the benchmark of quality is difficult due to how equal nearly every album's quality is and the compilations from Hatful of Hollow to Louder Than Bombs being equally fantastic.

With Morrissey; the rightful benchmark lies with Vauxhall and I, the magnum opus, THE go-to album for torch songs. The album; written and crafted during the fallout of the death of several key figures in his life but emerging, not kicking and screaming, but lamenting, witty and ethereal.

The dreamlike quality of the album sets it apart from the other's in Morrissey's solo back catalogue, whether it's the superb opener Now My Heart Is Full, the acoustic flare of Why Don't You Find Out for Yourself or the pleasant and easy on the ears Hold on to Your Friends.

But that's not to say the album spends must of it's time in the dizzy haze of euphoria. It also contains some of Morrissey's rockier outputs, ranging from the short and sweet Billy Budd, Spring-Heeled Jim featuring the fantastically sampled shenanigans of the Lambeth Boys and of course; Speedway, the finalé the album desperately needed, loud and revealing, in stark contrast with it's opposing number.

As the years go on, there's a despair that nothing will ever come close to topping it, but if there does need to a benchmark of quality, Vauxhall and I doesn't just suffice, it triumphs.

Buy: Vauxhall and I [20th Anniversary Definitive Master]

Much like Your Arsenal; Vauxhall and I's recent reissue sees the tracks beefed up, giving the music more impact and the soundscapes to no longer be lost in the previously mix.

Again, you lose nothing nor gain any additional tracks or reworks and you get a live show, making this another easy choice for Morrissey's best studio album.

H

@Retcon_Nation