Sure, frontman Rivers Cuomo still sounds like a lovelorn twentysomething fresh off the campus scene over twenty years since the band's debut album and, whilst the band should be applauded for at least trying new things, they're undoubtedly at their strongest when sticking to their formula of killer riffs and nerdy lyrics.
With their tenth album seeing release earlier in the month, here's my rankings of all ten from...well, worst to best. I've not included Death to False Metal as it's more of a b-side compilation and...spoiler alert, the top two are exactly what you think they are, but in which order is the real question!
10) Raditude
Slap bang in the middle of the decade of decline and, easily, unquestionably, the worst album the band has ever released is Raditude. The band's decade long experiment of trying to stay mainstream with bigger, louder songs consists of three minute tracks with some truly awful melodies, surprisingly unmemorable lyrics and a polished garage-rock sound with modern pop elements slamming against it to dreadful effect.
Much like all truly bad albums, it's highlights ((If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To, I'm Your Daddy, The Girl Got Hot) are nothing special in the grand and vast Weezer's discography and with some truly low points such as the Indian-classical meets pop-rock Love is the Answer to the toe-curlingly bad Can't Stop Partying (featuring Lil' Wayne at his Lil' Wayniest), Raditude was the rock bottom point of the band and one that they thankfully moved quickly up from.
09) Make Believe
Weezer's fifth album sees the band go mainstream, with a disastrous result.
Whilst Rick Rubin's polished, stadium rock production should be applauded as it at least tried to change the band's somewhat failed attempt at garage-rock (although many would equally argue that the loudness is a major negative point), the band once again struggle with boring rock songs which, again, have nothing to separate them from everyone else.
Whilst the large amount of filler is what kills the record, lead single and opener Beverly Hills encompasses everything wrong with Make Believe. A simple, mindless plod which tries to pretend to be satirical, but shows no wit nor shame at being nothing more than a radio-friendly-unit-shifter.
Although the highlights burn much brighter than those on Raditude (Perfect Situation, Pardon Me and I know a lot of you will disagree, but I love We Are All on Drugs), the massive amount of filler kills the album's pacing and, despite just running over forty-five minutes, it feels like an eternity.
08) Maladroit
Weezer's fourth album and one before they took a three year break between it's follow-up which I've just covered, saw the band embrace their fanbase and tried to cater to them, all of them...at once.
Although hindsight is a wonderful thing, you can perhaps see the problem with trying to deliver something to a vocal and conflicting group of opinions.
Whilst musically, Maladroit sounds like an extension of the rockier elements of Pinkerton with mercifully short tracks of garage-rock, by the second half of the album, it begins to wane and then become more generic with no distinction between songs.
Cuomo's much applauded wordplay and storytelling is strangely absent here as the songs are either too short or rely too heavily on the endless riffs. As mentioned, by the time the second half kicks in, the record sounds too generic and ultimately, whilst an easy listen, it's quite a boring one.
Much like a lot of these albums, there's a great EP here (Slob, Dope Nose, Death and Destruction etc), but the large amount of filler makes Maladroit an ok album but nothing more.
07) Weezer (The Red Album)
Weezer's third self-titled album initially launched with the lovingly simple but charming Pork and Beans which, whilst more famous for it's now dated music video, saw Cuomo lamenting on a meeting the band had with their record label regarding the album which consisted of (among other things) saying it needed more singles, maybe some guest producers and that he needed an image change.
If you listened to the first half of the album, you might be shocked at how consistent and great the record is and how wrong the label was. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn) in particular is easily the most experimental and epic song the band has ever released and is a highlight on a first half which, arguably sees a return to form.
But then Thought I Knew marks the end of that run and the album quickly loses all momentum and stops to a crawl. Even with the superb The Angel and the One closing the album, it never recovers and, whilst only three tracks are truly bad on the record, they somehow completely dull the album.
Whilst by default, the worst self-titled album from the band, it has it's strong moments but again, it's the second half that dulls the entirety of it.
06) Weezer (The Green Album)
Yep, you're reading that right. The one with Hash Pipe, the one with Island in the Sun. The one that most would call the last good one is not even in the top five.
Now, please put down your pitchforks and torches, I'm not trolling and I will explain.
As mentioned above, The Green Album has some fantastic singles. Hash Pipe in particular is one of my top five songs from the band and whilst I think Island in the Sun is a tad (just a tad) overrated, it's definitely one of the band's signature songs and it's still a classic.
But take away the singles for one moment and see what you're left with. Sure, Don't Let Go is a great opener, Photograph, is Beverly Hills done right and O Girlfriend is power-chord paradise and the big sendoff the album needed.
But the rest? Whilst certainly listenable it's all quite plain and generic. I think a lot of the people mistakenly love the singles but completely forget that, whilst a short album, there's nothing special here.
It's more of a generic and less witty rehash of the far superior Blue Album. Had it not been so short and with two massively successfully singles, I think more would see it for what it is; decent but lacking substance.
05) Everything Will Be Alright in the End
Instead, Everything Will Be Alright in the End is a surprisingly good album, although for me, it did take a while to sink in and appreciate. Whilst I don't rate Back to the Shack as the comeback single the band should have released, there's a lot of strong material here that could have been big hits had it been marketed properly.
The British Are Coming, Eulogy for a Rock Band, Da Vinci and quite a number of others deliver a surprisingly visceral and witty return from the band.
Yes, it's a bit too long and might have benefited from some trimming (the trilogy at the end in particular which doesn't really offer anything minus some decent riffs especially with Foolish Father before it and Back to the Shack) and, whilst I think the next entry would have been their true comeback had they not vanished for nearly half a decade, Everything... is still a blast and very good pop-rock album.
04) Hurley
Whilst Raditude somehow combined forgettable songs with seething hatred, at it's core, it did present a decent idea for the band. That, instead of mostly relying on Cuomo with the occasional full band effort or Pat, that instead, they'd try to collaborate with different writers and composers and see what songs would emerge.
Sure, you can argue that this could potentially be the least Weezer...est album from the band, but on the other, Hurley is a surprisingly enjoyable and unappreciated album which, in my opinion, would have been a lauded as a comeback had their not been such a huge gap between this and the album that proceeded it.
Opener and Jackass anthem Memories kicks off with blitzing guitars and a catchy chorus and, unlike all before it, it never really loses momentum from then on. Trainwrecks, whilst having more than a passing resemblance to Pardon Me, again utilises power-chords and another catchy chorus with a great outro, Where's My Sex sounds like a more older and haggard take on Tired of Sex from Pinkerton and Brave New World, arguably what should have been the closing track, is just great from start to finish.
Whilst it's easy to write off the album as it came hot off the heels of the worst the band had ever done, it had a stupid title, an equally stupid cover and spawned a four year gap between album releases, Hurley is a great pop-rock album and one that, if you've never bothered with, is definitely worth a listen.
03) Weezer (The White Album)
Not only was I shocked at how quickly material was released in preparation for The White Album's inevitable release from Everything..., but how superior and better it was.
As I mentioned on Twitter, after half the album had been released as singles, I said the other half would have to be truly terrible to drag the album down and, lo' and behold, The White album is, easily, without question, the best album the band has made in twenty years.
With The Beach Boys as a primary influence and the freaks and regular denizens of California serving as stories, The White Album is an absolute riot from start to finish, taking the content showcased on Everything... and countering it with wonderful pop melodies, some fantastic lyrics and excellent song writing.
Every song here could and possibly should, be a single. There's bound to be a new favourite on the album for fans new and old alike and I can't stress just how much fun the album is, even when the lyrics and Cuomo's vocal delivery say otherwise.
An easy nine out of ten if this was an actual review and a must listen for anyone who's ever liked anything the band has ever produced or has any room for thirty-five minutes of near perfect pop-rock, do yourself a favour and check it out as it's fantastic.
02) Weezer (The Blue Album)
Well, here we are, the ultimate question for any Weezer fan:
"What do you rank better; Blue or Pinkerton?"
And whilst I'll happily explain the latter in my next entry, it's time to gush all over Weezer's excellent debut album.
The Blue Album is one of those records which time refuses to cast aside and horribly date as a retrospective mid-nineties calamity. Whilst many modern acts will never admit to how influential the album is, The Blue Album combines killer riffs, some of Cuomo's best lyrics and catchy songs which, even twenty years later, still sound fresh and would be lauded as a stunning debut if released today.
Whether it's opener My Name Is Jonas, which even today is the go to opener for live shows, the girlfriend obsessive odé No One Else, the epic and laughable Undone (The Sweater Song), indie-rock classic Say It Ain't So or of course, the definitive Weezer song Buddy Holly, which even today, is still one of ten songs that everyone knows the chorus too.
If for, whatever reason you've never listened to The Blue Album in full, do so. Much like The White Album, every song on here had the potential to be a single and again, despite it's age, it still stands twenty years later as, not only one of the best debut albums of that year, but one of the best albums of that entire decade.
Why not top though I hear you asking? Whilst THE go-to album to define Weezer, it's somehow, conflictingly not their best ever. Which falls on...
Why not top though I hear you asking? Whilst THE go-to album to define Weezer, it's somehow, conflictingly not their best ever. Which falls on...
01) Pinkerton
So how do you top that? That was a question that, back in 1996, seemed utterly impossible. After scrapping an entire album, going to Harvard and growing disillusioned with his newly fount fame (and being on a lot of painkillers), Cuomo decided to vent his frustrations with just about everything, put it on tape and hoped for the best.
Whilst at the time, critics bashed the band from going from lively pop-rock to suddenly dark and depressing subject matters of guilty fantasies of Japanese fangirls masturbating, growing literally tired of meaningless sex, drug abuse and the annoyance at discovering a crush was a lesbian among others (there's a lot on sex though) and without the catchy singles from before, Pinkerton killed all momentum from two years earlier and left Weezer in a state of deteriorating limbo.
Even the band distanced themselves from it, so much so that The Green Album was treated as a true sequel to their debut and Pinkerton was a colossal mistake, Cuomo himself famously saying
"It’s like getting really drunk at a party and spilling your guts in front of everyone and feeling incredibly great and cathartic about it, and then waking up the next morning and realizing what a complete fool you made of yourself"
Yet, despite being the least Weezer...est album by the band, it's this dark, callous and wit that makes Pinkerton such an incredible listen. Cuomo's lyrics and stories on the campus scene are his best ever, so radically different, with surprisingly relatable alienation and observations rarely seen in a lyricist.
Add to that the best songs the band has ever written with complicated riffs, excellent percussion and an equally amazing production which encapsulates the unpolished, DIY sound, it sounds so real and at the time, such a strange but welcome progression from the otherwise bright and clean cut Blue Album.
Today, Pinkerton is rightfully applauded as the great album it is but it's such a shame that it wasn't back on it's initial release as it would have changed everything about the band beyond it.
Again, if you've never listened to Pinkerton from beginning to end, do so. In fact, do so after you've listened to a few songs from the rest of the band's discography and see how different and so much better they were and could have been.
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