In the four year gap between 21 and 25, the twenty-seven year old became one of the only musicians to make the same money that record labels think musicians can still make, she released one of the better James Bond songs of the past twenty years (although I still like You Know My Name and I know that's wrong), but above all else; she stayed private, thus any return would salivate the press, her fans, your mum, everyone with what she had to offer.
So when Adele returned from normality with what the press dare say, a 'comeback' single called Hello, all the ISIS threats, all the social justice injustices and, well, just about everything, took a backburner for five minutes.
Personally, I fount Hello to be nothing more than a slower, more sorrowful and more layered rehash of Someone Like You (aka one of the three Adele songs that everyone knows the words to) and, with that awkward segueway, therein lays 25's biggest issue; it is 21 mark two.
I might as well get this out of the way now rather than save you several paragraphs and carrot dangling, but if you liked 21 and thought it was the bestest, most intimate and greatest thing from north London since Tottenham cake, you'll love 25 from start to finish and are probably more troubled that you can't stream it from Spotify.
I however, went in open-minded. Yes, I've preluded before that Adele is thoroughly average and it has left me completely bewildered that she is the chosen one, but I liked Skyfall and despite 21 strictly being an album with superb singles and meh filler (and 19 being superb single and meh filler), I wanted to be proven wrong and maybe, just maybe, see what all the fuss was about.
As mentioned above, 25 opens with Hello, starting with longer-the-notes, longer-the-dread piano chords, before Adele's familiar and superb voice comes in. She, in the sincerest way, tells us "Hello, it's me, I was wondering after all these years, if you would like to meet" to which I'm indifferent but the song presses on for a big chorus, which leads to a more multi-layered chorus. It's a great opener, although not the world-beater that you'd be led to believe.
So how do follow-up with that? With an awkward studio-chatter lead in to Send My Love (To Your New Lover). Adele starts the track asking for guitar only and is given as much...for a minute. Then an weird, very bouncy beat is played over an equally weird, very bouncy chorus. Her vocals reach higher octaves and I can't help but feel I'm listening to something that One Direction rejected and she tried to put a spin on.
The contrast between the two songs is unsettling and sets the uneven tone of the album. Following Send My Love... is I Miss You. Again, this sounds like something Florence + the Machine rejected as it's layered with vocal soundscapes, a catchy and big beat and organ being the main instrument. When I read the credits and fount it was Paul Epworth behind it, it all made sense.
Easily the best song on the entire album, it's also the longest, but flies by, even if it's another song that sounds like its from another artist's repertoire. Following that dramatic piece is the more accessible When We Were Young, which sounds like the future go-to for triumphant moments on The X-Factor. Again, another piano ballad with another catchy chorus, it's all very familiar but easy-on-the-ears, nonetheless.
It's unfortunate that after this segment of songs that the album begins falling apart. Whilst Water Under the Bridge is perfectly acceptable pop with again, the same ballad with big chorus formula that has made a success of her, the remaining half of the album is a chore to get through.
Love in the Dark is a contradiction of stripped-back piano with huge orchestral layer but is disappointingly generic. If Hello was a rehash of Someone Like You, albeit with some tweaking, then All I Ask is Someone Like You, but changing the lyrics and that's it. She belts out the chorus at an ear-piercing tone and as the penultimate track and with an album that jumps back between melodramatic ballads and bouncy, catchy pop songs, it left me bored and waiting for the album to finish.
The album ends on a happy whimper with Sweetest Devotion, which was such a wet fart of an ending, I initially thought I left a track off my CD rip. The song goes absolutely nowhere and tries to build up an explosive finale in the last fifteen seconds, ten of which are spent on a fadeout.
Had Adele released the first four songs, I'd say it was a fantastic EP which would only intrigue my interest for any future releases. When you add the remaining seven songs, the album becomes a predictable, formulaic and tedious listen that drags from the middle and never reaches the dizzy heights of before.
Lyrically, Adele at her best is simple but catchy but at her worst, fairweather and generic. Only her choruses stick out and even then, it's more with a vocal delivery then wordplay. I'm not asking for Morrissey or Hayden Thorpe but when after a four year gap, you can barely remember anything sung on an highly anticipated album, you've struck out.
Much like 21, I'm left bewildered by just how a throughly average and generic record can be so successful. It has it's moments and again, to her credit, she has a fantastic voice, but that's all she has.
I can even understand on a primordial level that she truly is the antithesis of the hyperactive, over-sexualised, cartoon characters that Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are for the pop industry and for that, she should be commended.
But after a four year gap, 25 is nothing more than retreading old ground and for many, that's more than enough. But for me, retreading an average album with barely any improvement sounds like a failure and 25, even in it's grandest moments, is.
5/10
H
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